I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
