Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
