i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i love accidental penises.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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