Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
