I murdered the dance floor call the cops
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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