guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
