why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
im holly from the hills drunk
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
