He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
