Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Randomize
