He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
