no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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