i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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