I miss vodka workout Fridays
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
