so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You smell like stripper and shame
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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