My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
