eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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