getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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