he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize