how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
