Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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