Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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