her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
