so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
