You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
