and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
