just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Bring me that man meat
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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