I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
