Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
