1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
