READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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