I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Randomize
