jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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