It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
