You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
