So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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