Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
