i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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