You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Randomize
