She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
