you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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