i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
