therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
