hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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