apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
