Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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