You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
