She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
