This girl is more easily done than said...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
