She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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