'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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