I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
