We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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