i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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