I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
