i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
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