I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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