Just fell off a train. Bad.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
