No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
