At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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