So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
accomplished twins. life is a go
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
