You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
