I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Let's paint friendship bongs
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
