Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
