I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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