Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
