i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize