Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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