I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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