I must be too annoying 4 u.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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